If we’re being honest here, I’m probably going to get a few slaps on the wrist for the title choice. But really, it’s very true and I’m not ashamed to say that in person so why should I be afraid to say it on MY blog. Anyway, as a first year college student – who’s actually a sophomore, might I add, but that’s another story- life goes by really fast. To fast in fact. My parents have always said this and when I was younger, I thought they were being dramatic. But boy was I wrong.
The first time I realized life goes by fast when I was walking out of my high school graduation back in May 2017. I had pushed so hard to finish high school early because all I wanted was to travel and see the world. I took way to many college classes, busted my ass, and partook in all of the internships I could get my hands on. I didn’t realize I had done such a disservice to my youth and my social development until I was walking down the aisle to give my fellow graduates and over 100 people my speech on why you shouldn’t push yourself to grow up to fast and how I had come to that conclusion. Such a contradiction.
Many adults and high school students ask me, would you recommend graduating early? My answer: no. Absolutely not. Take advantage of having fun and having almost no responsibilities. Now, I wouldn’t say regret the path I chose at all. The decisions I made got me to where I am today and without them, I wouldn’t be me.
The second time I realized how fast life goes by was when I woke up from my nap about a week ago. Let me preface with a little bit of information about me first. If you’ve never had a single conversation with me – and if you have, I’m almost 90% sure my love for naps would’ve come up- then I’ll go ahead and tell you, I fucking love naps. I need at least 7hrs of sleep in a night and then at least an hour to two hour long nap during the day. If I can get 10 total hrs of sleep in a day, we’re golden. If not, I become delirious, forgetful, and eventually irritable. And I’m not picky about where I sleep. I’ve taken a solid two hour nap on the sidewalk with thousands of people around at a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans before AND I’ve had a solid four hours of sleep on a 3 foot coffee table before too. Give me 5 minutes and I can fall asleep anywhere and at anytime. You can all thank my dad for that one.
Anyway, back to what I was talking about earlier. I realized how fast life goes by, yet again, when I woke up from a nap. I had all these dreams and aspirations for how I would blog all through college and I can honestly say I’ve maybe written about four blog posts total since August. I also thought I would be able to keep up with posting quality and consistent content on my Instagram every single day. That obviously hasn’t worked out.
So, before I continue to make more excuses for myself and why I can’t do this and that I’m gonna go ahead and tell you the real issue here. I’m scared. Silly, right? But it’s true. I’m scared of what people think. I’m scared of keeping up with my lofty goals. I’m scared that people will want to see even better content and I can’t keep up. I’m scared of talking about myself and how I feel because that shows vulnerability and you can’t do that in life. I always thought that people knew everything about me already but in reality most people know absolutely nothing about me.
I’m not even going to try to promise you that I’ll be blogging on here more often and that I’ll have a strict schedule for when I release content. My drive to write is inconsistent and most days I can’t think of what to talk about. On top of that, most of the things I think of to talk about I overthink and believe people will think it’s boring and dumb. But really, I’m sure that there’s plenty of you people out there that can relate to what I’m talking about here right now. It’s all just a process of getting over my inner dialogue. A piece of advice that I’m partly telling myself: Don’t worry about what people think of you because they’re most likely worrying about the same thing and don’t have time to think about you anyway. Regardless, thank you for reading my ramblings and for bearing with my inconsistency.